Safe

Soul Saves

Seemingly enslaves

Pain you may evade

But…Safe…

Seems Simple

Saving Solitude

Sarrow Slumbers

Someone Slaughters

SHUT UP

Sway Away

So many things to say

So much got in the way

So what caused decay

                Of his soul

Sleaziness, somewhat bliss

Self-serving pig

Selfishly Simmer

As I survive and Shimmer

No slander

Second Stage, beyond school age

Sorry still learning to accept self-sacrificial love

Safety?

Gave me,

Guilt, shame, humility

Innocence

Pointed the TRIGGER

It wasn’t until I figured

Your (his) actions not mine

Caused such an effect CUTTING A LIFE LINE

And taken something not yours but mine!

After touching me

Self-esteem, trust, dignity can be hard to find

Your effect trickles in my spine

But I must not let it seep in or control my mind

Because PEACE I can and do find

When to myself I am kind.

Spirituality so Strong

Want it to last long,

Remain intuitive-ly always on

And not fueling frighten, heightened sense of questions

Of reality as if doubt tends to trouble spirits that reside in me,

My soul weeps,

As others sleep

And my soul screams

As other dream

And it is my soul that searches

Why is nothing as it seems…?

Was my soul safe?

As it was shadowed in disgrace…

Was I safe?

Haunted by the look of the molester’s satisfaction that was displayed upon his face

More terrified of how alone and the pain he was in

To have fallen so deep…. And caused a little one to sin…

But did I SIN?

I thought Jesus was my friend…

And then my soul fades,

Surrounded by never ending caves

Lost in wonder and pain

Was it inhumane?

                Beating and taking what you want…I’m confused again

Remind me why I feel God yet think I pretended

Somehow depend on the unseen

While the doubts shout, consistently muttering

Why for your gain did you create beings so disdained?

Fall to my knees pleading

Why did I receive these self-serving needs?

Why do I feel guilt, pain, and shame?

So you could be praised and receive fame

Yet guided, longed for and invited

Is YOUR love, I am a captive?

Yet seemingly so reactive

Life with our love is lost – reactive

Anger unclear, feelings FROZEN in fear

                And then I hear

….

My dear,

My beloved

Grasp guidance from above

Shine light on LOVE

With strength and Courage that sustains

Providing a way to remain sane